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The Parenting Olympics

We are told to cherish every moment of our child’s life because,

“Before you know it they will be grown up and gone”.

I get the sentiment, I really do, but after your child hasn’t stopped talking nonstop all day, or your baby has just thrown up on you for the tenth time in an hour, or your other child has refused to eat the meal that you patiently spent 54 minutes and 22 seconds (not that I was counting, honest) cooking, it’s a bit hard to feel #blessed. As parents we love our children but that doesn’t mean we have to love every single moment. Some days really can feel like Groundhog day. There are those days where being a parent can feel like some sort of endurance test, like we are in our own mini version of the parenting Olympics. However, unlike those athletes we don’t get a medal every time we manage to get through to bedtime without having stood on a piece of Lego. Surely we deserve a medal for parenting. We are superheroes after all!

Look online and you can view the range of trophies that we can get for our children. You can get them a trophy for football, there are also medals for completing the 3 peaks, but there is nothing for parenting and surely that is the biggest challenge of all! There has clearly been an oversight, us parents need a medal too. Here are two ideas for medals that I would be giving out during the parenting Olympics.

The Award For Not Losing Your Cool

You need to leave the house and you have asked your child for the 20th time to “please get her coat” but she is still not listening to your instructions. You wonder if you have become invisible but then realise that it is because your child is too busy watching Mr Tumbles. You have been replaced in your daughter’s affections by Mr Tumble. You have already watched Mr Tumbles for three hours on repeat, you are already one hour late for that appointment and you still haven’t got shoes and coats on. You don’t lose your cool. You keep it together and resort to dressing your child as they sing/screech the Something Special song at you.. You keep your cool, even though inwards you are cursing that Mr Tumble and his spotty bag. That medal is yours!

The Award For Being A Secret Agent Parent

It’s bedtime and you have spent half-an-hour lulling your little one to sleep. They have held you hostage and you have been forced to reel out your arsenal of secret agent parenting tricks. They won’t defeat you. You have read the That’s Not My Monkey far too many times, and you feel like you know every single passenger from the wheels on the bus song. But it was worth it because your little darling is now asleep. You start to creep out of the bedroom. You use your secret agent skills and belly crawl across the bedroom floor undetected, you leap over the Lego tower and you skilfully edge past the talking doll without setting her off. Your name is 007, licensed to parent! Take that medal and wear it with pride!

We need to pitch the idea of ‘Parenting Olympics’ to the BBC. We could have medals for so many different sports. A gold trophy for not crying when your child forced you to watch Peppa Pig again, a silver medal for convincing your child that the carrots will give you superpowers and a bronze medal for getting your child to clean their own room. Yes, I’m taking this ‘Parenting Olympics’ idea to The Apprentice.

Can you think of any more medals?

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