© my mad little family

the joy and delight of william hunter howell.

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Keeping Things Spicy When you Become Mum & Dad

 

 

Let’s take a moment to look back in time, shall we? A time when going out was just the norm for you. You might spend hours thinking about the outfit you want to wear, a leisurely bath to kick things off, taking time to do your makeup and hair and really not starting the night out till gone 9. Fast forward a little bit and you meet the one. You enjoy endless dates doing all sorts of things, fun holidays, lie ins, late nights, and no cares in the world. Date nights were just what you did, in fact you didn’t need to call it that because you just went out whenever you wanted. The spice was always there and you probably even made a vow to one another that not matter what life throws at you, children included, that nothing would ever effect that fun and spice in your relationship.

 

Fast forward to now and you probably curse those younger beings. I mean, what did they know? Children take over your life, am I wrong? You are sleep deprived, you sometimes don’t even realise what day it is, and routine becomes a big important factor in your life. You may look at your partner and wonder what’s happened to your relationship. You could be like passing ships in the night as children and work commitments takeover, and when you do have the time to be together you might just end up falling asleep or choose to just spend time with one another, but scrolling speerater phones and Facebook just to feel more in touch with the world. Sound familiar? But while the spice is not always going to be present in your relationship, after all, you have other things you need to be doing, you can ensure that you do make some time for one another when the opportunity presents itself. Your children are there because of the love you and your partner have for one another, so it is important for you to remember that you are both individuals, a couple, as well as wing parents and money providers. I wanted to share with you some of the ways that you can keep the spice in a relationship.

 

 

Go on a date night

 

One of the most obvious answers when it comes to adding spice to the relationship once more is to consider going on a date. It doesn’t even need to be anything special, just some time away from children and heading out somewhere can make the biggest of differences. Sometimes just being a couple and having some child free time can remind you of those past days that seem like a distant memory. You get the chance to talk about thing uninterrupted. You get to eat a meal at your own pace. Watch a film I the cinema that isn’t animated or with young themes. It could be anything, even just going out for a coffee. It can make a real difference to your relationship and help you to appreciate each other as well as appreciate the life you have created together.

 

 

Staying in is the new going out

 

Sometimes going out isn’t an option all of the time. We don’t always have the childcare options or the time to commit to it. But the chances are you spend most evenings together, so why not have a date at home instead? Maybe give yourself one night a week where you both ensure the children go to bed, and you take it in turns to cook for one another or treat yourself to some take out food. Maybe even investing your time into some viewing on the TV and watching box sets or a film. Websites like UK Air Dates can give you an idea of when the latest series are due for release, and some of the things you can watch on Amazon Prime or Netflix these days will have you hooked. It can be a great alternative to going out, and still gives you the quality time together that you both crave. Take it one step further and on that night ban phones or technology that normally has you distracted.

 

 

Thinking about each other

 

Often it can be the little things that make the biggest of differences when it comes to your relationship. The little things show that you are thinking of one another. For example, if one of you is at work all day and the other is at home, why not use the chance to make something nice for an evening meal or clean up the house. Maybe your partner could do it on a weekend while you are doing the usual parent taxi and taking children to all of their clubs. It could be as simple as a bunch of flowers, a Sunday paper whilst you were out, a take out coffee or a box chocolates. Small gestures that show each other that you are thinking of the other can go along way. It helps you to feel appreciated, which in turn can reignite passion and desire for one another. Sometimes these things take effort, but by doing it, you can really help[ spice up the relationship.

 

 

Communicating and showing an interest

 

Communication is such an important part of any relationship. We all know that we can feel less connected with one another at times and that is understandable. You both have busy lives to lead. You both might be working long hours, one of you may be at home trying to maintain the house and your children’s lives. Sometimes life can be so hectic, financial struggles can hit, career dilemmas and problems you both have to face. Without communication, relationships can crumble under the day to day strain and stresses that can be placed on them. Don’t let the communication side of things deplete in your relationship. Take the time to ask about each others day, show an interest and ask questions. Take time to discuss things and set time aside to airy your differences. Don’t bottle things up because this can make situation more worse than they need to be. Keeping the communication shows trust and loyalty to one another, which are both qualities that make a great relationship shine.

 

 

Making an effort with one another

 

Relationships don’t work unless they are worked on and effort is made. At the end of the day if you don’t want to make an effort then this may be the time that your relationship needs some serious consideration. Effort is something that we all might not want to make, but whether we have the energy to do so or not, we should still want to make it. If that makes sense. Take some time to really think about what works in your relationship and what doesn’t. Every relationship needs work, and there will be times where you may need to work harder at it than others. Stress and strain can really take a hold of your relationship, but if you remember the reasons as to why you fell in love in the first place then it is easy to rectify it once more. Make an effort to make your partner feel special sometimes. A coffee in bed, making food or cleaning up. As mentioned before often the little things can be the things that make the biggest difference which help to reignite the passion and desire as you start to feel wanted, needed and appreciated.

 

I hope that these tips help you to keep the spice in your relationship now that you are parents.

 

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